It finally happened. After 26 years submerged in the less than friendly gaming culture, and 15 of those years spent working in a less than friendly gaming industry, I lost my patience.
I suppose to some it’s not a big surprise. Considering I’ve been patronized, dismissed, ignored, shoved aside, reviled (yes, it happened!), declared incapable or rabid or an extremist, been humiliated publicly, told to keep my mouth shut, told to be “nice”, told to not express my emotions unless they’re happy, asked to stop being so hostile (no, not just from yesterday’s comments, although that may have been justified. I was a bit hostile. What I’m talking about is the fact that even asking for change can be viewed as hostile and extremist), told to suck it up and accept it… well, I guess it’s about time.
There has never been a time in my working life or while performing my hobbies that I have not been, in one way or another, treated as less than a man. Well, there was this time, way back when I actually bought in to everything everyone else told me and subsequently was rather sexist and not at all very accepting of myself, but those days are gone now. Sometimes I want them back. It was much easier just despising oneself privately. At least I got to be one of the boys, a part of a community. Oh, and by the way, I was still treated as less than a man. But no one thought it was a problem, because hey, no one pointed it out.
But now… now I’m fed up with well meaning comments about how one thing or another doesn’t suit the tastes of the world at large. I have been patient. I have tried to explain again and again, but seriously, no one ever listens, so why should I have to adhere to any kind of courtesy, when the people I’m talking to won’t? Because I am the outsider I have to be kind and understanding? Or is that because I am a woman? Don’t be snarky, don’t be sarcastic, always try to explain shit to people who are just going to dismiss everything anyway because that’s what women do dear. Well. I’ve been fucking patient for 26 years. It ends today. I will snap, snark and be sarcastic at you. I think I’ve earned it.