…or OMG, OMG, I held a lecture for people at WORK!!! Which was actually quite scary and not something I took lightly. Unfortunately I don’t remember a word I said, but I’ve embedded the Prezi.

Anyway, so why is it so scary to give lectures at work and not elsewhere? Well, first of all I have to be able to look my coworkers in the eye afterwards, and they’re a pretty smart bunch. They will take anyone to task who says or does something they don’t agree with. Just look (well, you can’t, but if you could) at the long and very wordy debates we throw ourselves into on mail and on our forum. Second I’m a token. Yes. I’m a token female. I HAVE to represent at these things or I don’t represent my gender very well. It’s like that XKCD comic strip. “wow, you really suck at math” turns into “wow, girls really suck at math”. And I don’t want to give the impression that girls suck at math. So there’s that. And thirdly, I talked about feminazi… sorry, feminism. Although I actually didn’t because what I talked about was information theory, awareness, and priming. Which isn’t feminism. Enough about that. On to the talk.

So why are scary things nice to do? Well. I think it has to do with the fact that if you do not challenge yourself and your views, you’ll never evolve as a person. I challenge myself constantly – normally, I’ve had a bit of a dip since my dad got sick and later passed away – meaning that I say yes to stuff that scares the living crap out of me. Talking at a conference? Freakishly scary. So far I’ve held three or four talks at Nordic Game and I’ve been invited to talk at Gotland Game Conference. Teaching other people. Also very intimidating. Especially considering that I have this HUGE responsibility to get things right if I talk to a student crowd. And they usually know more than me. Going to a spa – yikes! I know nothing of spas! And I’m going tomorrow, so wish me luck.

Now I’m going to expose a raw nerve again and try to get some botany done. Well, not botany but plant care. Also scary.

Come on! It IS scary!

What about the Triffids!?