One of the reasons I never started to rather continued to play Jedi: Fallen Order was because of me being sick of playing men. But Cal Kestis is only one reason why I didn’t continue more than 19 minutes the first time.

The other, more valid or maybe differently valid, reason was the absolutely awful controls. They are still awful.

I have, after having played two hours, fallen to my death at least 10 times. At least. My hands don’t want to press or hold L2 while climbing, which any player friendly game would have made into an automatic action.

Nor am I particularly happy about the totally janky turns that Kestis does. Say whatever you like about God of War (no, really, please do, because that game was less interesting to me than yet another formulaic Dan Brown novel) but at least the gameplay is smooth once you figure out the controls. Not a walk in the park for me either.

The jank combined with yet another angsty man being angsty and emotionally stunted has me seriously questioning my sanity in this endeavour. What am I thinking?! Why am I doing this to myself?

Perhaps – in all honestly – it is because I want to be at liberty to be snarky about the games without being told by various edgelords how I could never really appreciate the game without having finished how I could never really appreciate the game without having finished it. I’ve 98% that game, and the only reason it’s not 100% is because I was too annoyed to repeat the flight of the valkyries boss fight which is so formulaic it gave me emotional hives.

I know I should be kinder to dad of boy and Geralt, but it takes such effort to hide my snark.